i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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