Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
