Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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