So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
