Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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