there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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