Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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