This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After last night, I could never be a politician.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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