I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
