OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I faked an abortion last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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