you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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