they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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