your room smells of hookers.
And success
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
