yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
