you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
