i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
