Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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