**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize