I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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