3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize