My sheets look like a crime scene.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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