He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize