how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
