Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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