So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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