Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
