i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
