i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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