Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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