The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
