You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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