it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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