i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
