This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you inspire me to be a worse person
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I supernannyed him into submission