i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.