I forgot how hot balto sounded
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.