So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night