Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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