so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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