Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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