and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
honey bunches of taint.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
