i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
