UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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