Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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