this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
