I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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