Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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