and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i already hear my dad disowning me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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