WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
