Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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