Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
