Since when is my name a synonym for head?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
