i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
