i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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