Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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