apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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