If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
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That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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