Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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