Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize