Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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