Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
