3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
