Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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